hyenuh:

inthenameofpeacewemakewar:

meanmulatto:

British ppl rlly got thr short end of the stick could u imagine getting fucked by a brit “cheers love give us a cum” like absolutely not!!!!!

The upside is that, nine times out of ten, our accent is like liquid sex to most American women.  ‘Cause what would you rather hear? 

“Ay, baybee.  You got a fine ass.  You wanna go somewhere and fuck?” 

-or-

“You look positively radiant, my dear.  Would you like to stop for a cup of coffee somewhere on the way back to my place?”  

thelnfinitywar:

lord-kitschener:

I just saw some article about how leg makeup is a summer beauty essential, and that’s how I know we’re in hell! Ladies, it’s your duty to #empower yourself by covering your entire fucking body in a sarcophagus made of contoured concealer ($275.50 from sephora) so that the general public doesn’t end up vomiting en Masse and forever shunning you after being forced to witness how unforgivably disgusting, offensive, ugly, and un-instagrammable your uncovered skin is!!!!!

whateverbutgood:

sparkafterdark:

tyrannosarcophagous:

nerdgul:

sparkafterdark:

witchchad:

totallyfubar:

sparkafterdark:

momunofu:

dadurl:

momunofu:

chillin on a Saturday night

Calm down jojo

you’re right, I am looking a little stiff here, I should try to relax

image

You call that “chillin”?

Everyone knows the best way to relax is with a good book and a warm drink

I dunno, man,

image

 sometimes I like just relaxing on my laptop

image

get on my level boys

Unfortunately to “get on your level” I’d need a boat trip to the Mariana Trench and a pair of cinderblock shoes.

Thats gotta be the sickest burn ive ever read holy fuck

this post appears once every million years

I kept hoping someone else would one up me and I’d have to escalate even further but nobody has.

oh my god, I have only seen this post on screenshots

this is A DREAM COMING TRUE